My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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