You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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