hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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