When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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