I'm so fucking centered right now
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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