he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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