I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
