I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
dude. I can hear the air.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
