Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Drunk is not a location!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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