Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
