I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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