And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
