just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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