i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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