that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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