the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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