Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
