wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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