Umm I'm too high to move.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
