Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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