WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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