I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I love having hate sex.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
