glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
