Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
high people should be assigned attendants
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
