babies were throwing up all over the place
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
