actually, I'm a sock model
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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