I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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