just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
