I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
look no pants
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
