Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i've created a new STD.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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