the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
