I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
