Cold hands, warm shart.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
