I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize