Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
