i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
