like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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