i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
