They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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