You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
