If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
