oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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