Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
