Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
