it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
