i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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