dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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