I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Four minutes until I can fart!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
