Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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