What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
