OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
